Staying OK


  • Painful feelings erode self esteem
  • I’m ok you’re not ok – childhood dependency
  • Assumptive reality
  • Constructs may contain wrong assumptions
  • Resolution
  • Unconditional love
  • Stroking
  • Internal dialogue our feelings are hurt if the transaction arouses our parent who then accuses as
  • internally
Parent externally derived
  •  nurturing
  • critical
Adult internally derived
  • how to
  • thinking
  • problem solving
Child internally derived
  •  want to
  • feeling

The brain records all experiences and associated feelings as a child and plays than back later so that we can be in 2 places at once (actually reliving the previous experience) even though we may not be able to connect the two.

Sources and references

  • Games people play – Eric Berne
  • I’m OK, you’re OK – Amy and Thomas Harris
  • Staying OK – Amy and Thomas Harris

These are my notes and thoughts, and are based on the books above. The notes may not make a great deal of sense on their own and are not a “summary” of the books – you will need to read the books yourself!

en English