Parent stoppers are emergency fixes to move us back into the adult and prevent the parent internal dialogue. They are first aid exercises to rescue the battered child.

  • Break the body set – physically relax
  • Be in the here and now – look around and say what you see out loud (present awareness = adult)
  • Exaggerate the problem – how could it have been worse?
  • Physical exertion – tired? Take a walk, feel the body working
  • Have a haven
  • Have a sound screen – a music haven
  • Go off on tangents – look around, what are you reminded of?
  • Talk with someone
  • Consider others – they may have coped with worse
  • Make faces at yourself in the mirror
  • Take a nap
  • Pray

…then get the adult into gear to effect some change, parent-stoppers are only temporary solutions. Change in behaviour will lead to change in feelings.

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