Parent shrinkers

Parent-dominated people are rewarded in childhood for perfect conformity, obedience and compliance. Difficult to move them from their “continuous recording, which is self-perpetuating.

Critical parent
  • Yes/no answers
  • Afraid underneath
Nurturing parent
  • Parent does not think or listen, makes us feel oppressed
  • When a parent-originated statement is crossed by an adult response it cannot continue
  • Being parent protects your child

Parent shrinkers

Move another persons parent to child or adult so that here and now communication can proceed. Should be used from adult.

  • Cross the transaction eg: “can you tell me what you plan to do?”
  • Agree – if he is right
  • Go off on a tangent
  • Cheers – positive feedback to comment
  • Silence
  • Move in – into his space bubble
  • Change your mind – if relevant
  • “Could you please say it another way?”
  • Ricochet – positive feedback to a third person
  • Write it down
  • Find his child and feed it – “how would you change to make it feel good?”
  • Be ok
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