- What is trust?
- How does it develop?
Game 1 – backward fall and catch: pairs or 2 small groups (red book S2)
Game 2 – verbal boxing: trios (red book S27)
Timer -= 30 seconds of bouts each
- Untrue insult barrage
- Gibberish: fear/gladness/sadness
- GPR volunteer raw material
- Start and stop agree anyone can stop, like video
- Rehearse other ways of doing it swap seats
Issues to bring out
- Don’t get angry back (instinct)
- Don’t be logical / Logic defeats anger
- Don’t grovel
- Apologise for the specific
- Patient is there, so still an opportunity
- Teasing out the conclusions
- Taking responsibility for what is wrong
- Recognise the emotion
- From the child
- Parent putdown
- Doing it differently
Anger is natural
Assertive not aggressive
Get over your needs without hurting others
Converted > redirected
Stop and think, focus on the positive (danger that anger turns inward on yourself and expressed as passive-aggressive behaviour cynical hostile put-downs criticism)
Control outward behaviour PLUS internal response
What triggers our anger?
- Anger is one reaction to an event that represents a stress, threat or loss to you
- The stress, threat or loss can be real or we can make it up in our mind.
- Anger reactions happen when there is a stress, threat or loss to our…
- Or when we didn’t get what we wanted. Entitlement–‘I want it. You owe me. Give it to me now or I’ll get angry’
Where does anger come from?
- Not accepting responsibility
- The inappropriate expectation of others
- Making judgements
- Shame: a threat to personal integrity based on fear of rejection (eg critical parent) I am bad so hide it! Being unworthy
- Guilt: a feeling that you did something wrong, not living up to values. Personal punishment that often hangs on
- Feeling worthless (shaming and blaming the child)
- Protection: avoids us feeling bad inside
- Projection onto others / denial / repression
Dealing with anger
- Cognitive restructuring
Changing the way you think (NLP)
Avoid NEVER, ALWAYS (black and white child)
Avoid irrational thoughts everythings ruined
Getting angry won’t fix anything, logic defeats anger
Anger may be caused by inescapable problems and not be misplaced > handle the problem.
It is OK to be angry, it is what you do with it that counts
Jumping to conclusions
Don’t criticise, listen
Don’t let anger disrupt the communication
- Using humour
Picture you or the person as an object
Are you being unreasonable?
Is it that important?
- Change the environment
- Be easy on yourself
- Say sorry
Anger management – this page as a .doc file
- Handling aggressive patients
- Dealing with angry and aggressive patients