Listening

you do not care about me
you say you understand me before you know me well enough
you have an answer for my problem before I've finished speaking
you look frightened by, or disapproving of, what I am telling you, you finish my sentence for me
you find me boring
you feel critical of my vocabulary, grammar or accent
you are dying to tell me something
you tell me about your experience, making mine seem unimportant
you are communicating to someone else in the room
you refuse my thanks, saying you haven't really done anything
you follow your own thoughts & memories when they are triggered by my words.

you come quietly into my private world and let me be
you really tiny to understand me, even if I'm not making much sense
you grasp my point of view, even when it is against your own sincere convictions
you allow me the dignity of making my own decisions even though you think they might be wrong
you do not take my problem from me, but allow me to deal with it in my own way
you hold back your desire to give me good advice
you give me enough room to discover for myself what is really going on
you accept my gift of gratitude by telling me how good it makes you feel to know you have been helpful.