Depression:
how can I help myself?Making a daily plan
When people are depressed they often don't feel like doing anything, find it hard to decide what to do each day and can end up doing very little.
Begin to tackle this by making a list of things you want to do. Then plan out an action list, start off with the easiest task at first and don't aim too high. Work through your action list and tick off what you've done. At the end of the day you'll be able to look back and see what you've achieved. Physical exercise and activity can really help to lift your mood. Try and build a little in each day. Mixing with friends, family and neighbours can also help.
Achievements and pleasure
When people are depressed they often forget what they've achieved and what they enjoy. Most people have more things going for them than they are usually aware of. On your daily action plan write down all events of the day, put a P next to those which have given you pleasure and an A next to those activities where you felt you achieved something and did well. Try not to be too modest; people who are depressed tend not to take credit for their achievements. Try and build some pleasant events into your day each day - treat yourself, it will help you.
The ABC of changing feelings
Most people who are depressed think their lives are so awful that they have every right to feel sad. In fact our feelings come from what we think about and how we make sense of what has happened to us.
Try to think about a recent event which
had upset and depressed you. You should be able to sort
out three parts of it:
Most people are normally only aware of 1 and 3. |
|
The important point about trying to become aware of these three stages A, B and C is that we can change what we think about an event and therefore we can change how we feel about it.
Balancing
A useful technique to try is called balancing. When you have a negative, critical thought, balance it out by making a more positive statement to yourself.
For example: The thought: "I'm no good at my job", could be balanced with: "my boss said how much he appreciated the piece of work I did yesterday".
The double column technique
Another thing you could do is right down your negative automatic thoughts in one column - and, opposite each one, write down a more balanced positive thought. Like this:
| Negative automatic thought | Balancing thoughts |
| John hasn't called, he doesn't love me. | He is very busy and thinks I am doing better than I was last week, so he doesn't need worry about me. |
Try and remember details
Research tells us that the person who is depressed doesn't remember detail of events but tends to think in general statements, such as "I've never been any good at anything". Try and train yourself to remember details so that good times and experiences are easy to recall. Think of particular times. A daily diary can help you to do this. Make lists of actual achievements and good aspects of yourself such as "I'm always on time", "I helped my friend on Tuesday", "My partner complimented me on my work last week".
Try to keep a diary of events, feelings and thought. It may look a bit like the example below. Use the approaches described to gain more balanced thoughts. Look out for errors in thinking.
| Event | Feeling or emotion | Thoughts in my mind | Other more balanced thoughts |
Using a daily plan, mastery and achievement notes and keeping a diary of automatic thoughts and more balanced thoughts can help you to fight depression and the gloomy thoughts that go with it.
Solving difficult problems
Long term beliefs
Sometimes people have long held views about themselves that are very self critical - for example, "I'm not a very clever person" or "I'm not a very lovable person". These beliefs are often a product of our past experience and may hold no truth in present reality. Try to challenge this self criticism, stop knocking yourself down and look for evidence that disproves the beliefs. What would you say to a good friend if they held that belief about themselves?
Particularly stressful times
Many people experience a difficult time in their lives that is linked with events that they cannot change. For example, a bereavement, or several bereavements over a short period, unemployment, longstanding illness, chronic financial problems or isolation. Sometimes several of these events happen together and depression can result. In time, most people bounce back, but it may be hard to do this without help.